Lyric Police

My husband is an official member of the Lyric Police.  I am constantly getting lyric fines. Nick doesn't understand how it is possible that I can get the lyrics to songs so wrong.

Maybe it's cause I don't sit on the internet and find out what the real lyrics are. Anyway I happen to think that sometimes my lyrics are way better than the original...or at least funnier.

What are your best and worst incorrect lyrics. Here are some of my classics.

ACDC - Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap

Mel Lyrics - Dirty deeds, Thunder Sheep

Yeah so I thought this song was about doing bad things to sheep, cue aussies taking the piss out of me as a kiwi.

Ini Kamoze - Here Comes the Hotstepper

Mel Lyrics - Here comes the hotstepper, I'm the leprechaun gangsta

Picture it, whats cooler than a mini ginger gangsta

Skrillex - Bangarang

Mel Lyrics - Laser Rays (instead of Bangarang)

Yes I did know the song is called Bangarang, but I thought those lyrics were right and that's why there were so many shooting laser gun sound effects.  I would even pull out my air guns and shoot my laser rays around the room.

And it's not just me, recently on Triple J a guy called in saying he thought the lyrics to the new Calvin Harris song, Sweet Nothing was: "You're giving me sexy gherkin" I definitely prefer this version when I play the song.

What are your favourite wrong song lyrics? Tell me you have some are you're not a member of the Lyric Police...

Katchafire - On The Road Tour

I live in Mackay, it's a small regional mining town in Queensland.  A place, where nothing really exciting ever happens. So when a kiwi mate posted that Katchafire was coming to Mackay I didn't really believe it. Seriously Katchafire, in Mackay??

Turns out that Mackay has a large Kiwi contigent, alot of Maori people.  It was also held at the MECC (one of the biggest venues in Mackay) and I was a little worried, that maybe it would be too large, even though I fully understand the awesomeness of this great kiwi reggae band.

So I bought ticket for Nick and I and their latest album and last Thursday I took my heavily preggo self to the concert.

Katchafire themselves were amazing as always, the sweet crooning of their five current vocalists, the swaying jazz sax from Jamey Fergusson and bongo beats from Leon Davey. Just had you immersed in that relaxed reggae vibe that is quintessentially Kiwi.

The only downside was the way that the event was setup. 10 metres of dancing room and then about 40 rows of seating. A small group of people could get ridiculously close to band and have their sweet head bopping on, but you'd then turn around to see a few hundred people just sitting there. Then further back another dancing space with tables, meant that usually sweaty atmosphere that a live gig provided felt detached and a little lonely. To be honest I was enjoying the extra room to shake my oversized booty but it was a little disappointed in the setup.

We even got to meet and take a photo with Jamey Fergusson afterwards where my darling, slightly drunken husband tried to get him to sign "his son" (still currently in my belly), "Yeah right" I screamed "Keep that vivid away from me"

I still claim that Revival is one of my favourite all time albums. I know that words to EVERY SONG. But check out some of singles from their latest - On the Road.

Get Your Groove On Friday - Part 2

I'm totally smitten on this song right now. Love it. Love the beat.  It does talk alot about titties.

Frank Ocean - Lost

Feel Inside (And Stuff Like That)

Flight of the Concords recently went to a local primary school and asked the local school children to help them write the lyrics for a charity number for Cure Kids.

Check out the interview and the song, then go on itunes and by it.  It's hilarious and a great reason to put your cash monies towards helping the kids.

Just Give the Girl Some Cake

Image from http://www.belindajaya.com

People keep asking me if I have been getting any cravings.  It's actually a really common question for a pregnant woman, along with, it is a boy or a girl, do you have a name yet?

Up until recently the answer was no, when Nick kindly pointed out that all I ever seem to want to eat was cake. It started with a visit to some friends, the boys were busy talking about sport, I made an excuse that I was going to feed the dogs (which I was) and made a slight detour to a local coffee shop. I bought a $7 romantic novel, a piece of black forest gateau and coffee and sat there for an hour, by myself, eating cake.  It was a really good feeling, doing something just for me, plus with all those chocolate induced endorphins floating around in my bloodstream I felt incredibly satisfied.

Since then it's become an addiction, I'll drive to the local cheesecake shop and buy a single slice, the IGA for cupcake.  Even this weekend when faced with watching five hours of back to back sporting events, I guilted Nick to taking me for a "coffee date" just so I could have some cheese cake.

Typically a chips and dip rather than chocolate girl, its strange to have a sudden sweet tooth. Thank god for my dogs and their constant need to be walked or my ass would be growing to olympic proportions.

Last night I asked Nick how long we had been married for, "Six months on the 10th" he said. "We should do something" I replied.  "Sounds good, what did you want to do?" it was seriously the easiest decision I had ever made. "Let's get a cake".

Here is the Line. And You Have Just Crossed It

Image from Guardian.co.uk

Do you have a line, a line that you would never liked crossed?

I do. It's a big one, it's utterly important to me although you might think it's not that bad, but the thought of people crossing it, makes me want to vomit.

My Line: Other people using my roll-on deodorant

It all started when a friend explained that body odour is bacteria festering under your pitts. And when you use a roll-on, this bacteria transfers onto the roll and into your deodorant. She even went on to explain that by others using your roll-on that their "stink" will become yours.  The thought sickened me.  I mean body odour is along the same line as farts (our own never smells as bad as someone elses). The thought of that smell, on my body gives me the heebie jeebies.

I have a friend (Zen if you know her) that is well aware of my line and loves to torment with it. If she's a little smelly and needs a hand she has no qualms but to grab my deodorant.  She doesn't even do it sneakily these days. She will call me into the room, look me straight in the eye and tell me, "I know you hate this but I am going to do it anyway." Life stutters into slow motion as I race towards her while she slowly brings the roll up to her pitts. And with one swipe I am defeated... Usually resulting in a tantrum of me going on about how I can't believe she just did that. Now what am I going to do!

The end result, a roll-on in the bin and the biggest smile from Zen's lips. Why? Cause that's what best friends are for. To make fun of your stupid overreactions and weirdness. Does she have a line, probably? Do I ever cross it, well seeing I don't even know what it is, I bet I have...

I guess that's what true love is all about.

Medalling in Mediocre

Image taken from http://soschicagoland.com

Are you guys Olympic Crazy??

I know I am. For the last 10 days, it has been all olympics all the time.

I love watching the athletes, watching them reaching their goals, competing against the worlds best and knowing that they have been working their butts off for the last 4 years or even more to reach where they are now.

It also has made me realise that I have reached an age, where I doubt I am going to represent New Zealand on the sporting stage, or create some amazing new product that will make me millions. I am set for a life far more mediocre and it wasn't until now that I realised just how important I am.

If it wasn't for ordinary people like me, then our Olympic athletes could not rise to the level of extraordinary.   The thought made me feel a little warm inside. Yep thats right, I help put things in perspective. We can't all be child prodigies or Web millionaires, because then no one would be special.

I medal in mediocre, in fact I reckon I would get a gold.

As for my yet to be born son, now I can imagine the greatest for him. A future All Black? A Nobel Prize winner or Rhodes Scholar? To be honest he could be anything he wants, as long as he doesn't walk in my door and tell him he has just been selected for the Wallabies... Vomit